Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

John Cena for president

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

what is red white and blue? the french flag

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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