A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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