How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Knock knock Come in

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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