A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Urban ghettos

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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