why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops