How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What is the difference?

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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