What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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