ask me if im a door yes

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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