A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

why am I writing this...im bored

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

p lkl

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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