why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

thumb_up thumb_down -40

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

thumb_up thumb_down -40

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -40

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops