It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Oh, go away

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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69

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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