Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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