Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops