Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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