Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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