Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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