A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

a man was shot.... he died

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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