What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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A seal walks into a club.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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A man goes to the potty.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops