A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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