What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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