Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops