Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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the sky is green no it is not

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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