What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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How did th-A fridge.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops