Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats long and black? a baton

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops