Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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