What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops