What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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your mom.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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