What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops