Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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