A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down +1

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops