Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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