What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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