How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

A guy at a baseball game....

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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