What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

can you pass the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops