What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I have cancer. And you're next.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops