What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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