Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Caroline Kelly.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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