Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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You wanna see something really scary?

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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salad days!

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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