Jeff

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

ejaculation JLR

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

Ol-ive

Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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