How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +17

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops