What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +37

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops