Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops