A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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