A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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copy me and i will kill you

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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