- Anti Joke

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

What is life? Paul.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

Yo Momma So Fat!

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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