A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops