You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops