Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops