What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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