what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops