Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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My peni s

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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