A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

antonio has a penis head.lol

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops