What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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